relahvant:

when i make a joke to myself and no one’s around to hear it

image

image

(via fake-mermaid)


person: you're really cute
me: are you making fun of me

bryko:

These are all from the same episode

(via zackisontumblr)


shisnojon:

amortizing:

2014 is half over and

  • -i lost no weight
  • -didn’t learn anything
  • -haven’t made an effort to save money
  • -still ugly

damn that sucks I’m healthier than ever, learned a shit ton, and I’m also beautiful and cool

(via fake-mermaid)



neptunain:

to catch a bus you have to think like a bus

(via zackisontumblr)


kaliforhnia:

Idk why I keep getting sad over people that don’t give a shit about me.

(via fake-mermaid)



anneboleyns:

"but officer they were fucking with my clique"

(via fake-mermaid)



motiya:

See how chill and non competitive your life gets when you don’t judge other girls in how they dress, do their make up, or how many selfies they take. Take a nap by a window, glow up

(via 87daysbefore)


(via versacesquad)


nibit:

420 is so close I can almost taste all the bad jokes I’ll have to weed through

(via fake-mermaid)


gelatins:

hello, is this mcdonalds? ah yes, i would like to make reservations for 2

(via fake-mermaid)